Finding a hostel in Tallinn

There seems to be no shortage of beautiful hostels and cheap hotels in Tallinn. Atmospheric buildings with polished wooden floors and eccentric furniture or ultra modern clean lines with tasteful furnishings. Loads to choose from.

Then I read some of the reviews. Mostly positive but a few along these lines:

‘The rooms had a funny smell’
‘We couldn’t sleep for the noise of the nightclub next door’
The staff were vacuuming outside our door at 2 o clock in the morning’
We nearly froze to death – there were icicles hanging off the bed’
‘The manager had an ice pick in his pocket and an insane gleam in his eye’.

That sort of thing. Ok, obviously the last two were fabrication on my part.

But the problem is, I am a truly appalling sleeper.  Hard pillows, lumpy mattresses, light coming through the curtains,  any of these can have me wriggling round the bed, muttering and fidgeting.  I once spent 4 nights in Barcelona staring wide awake into the darkness with tissues stuffed in each ear, trying to muffle the din of the jolly revellers in the bar downstairs, shouting and laughing and generally having lots of fun, the bastards.

So a quiet room is essential. Really it is. If it doesn’t smell funny that would also be good. And if the manager can keep the ice pick under control that’d be fab. Save packing a first aid kit.

We could move up the tourist ladder a bit and go to a budget hotel instead of a hostel.

Except the financial situation here in Numptyville has taken a scary nose-dive. My bank account, never in the best of health, is now practically on a life support machine. If my bank manager were a doctor, he’d be huddled in the corridor with the other bank managers and they’d be murmuring in low voices, shaking their heads gravely and some zealous medical student would be twitching towards the plug.

So it looks like my only son and I will be spending our holiday skulking round with a map of Tallinn’s doorways, clutching a couple of large cardboard boxes, a pile of old newspapers.and a lot of sandwiches.

According to the weather report, the night time temperatures in Tallinn are lower than minus 20 degrees C at the moment.

Um. Back to the online hostel-hunt, I guess….

NB: This post is tongue in cheek. The hostels in Tallin look lovely, they really do. Will take earplugs and ice pick defender. We’ll be fine. Honestly.


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