Me: Have you seen those toys called Trashies? They’re quite cute.
New Man: No. Are they kids’ toys or sex toys?
Me: Kids toys. Tsht. Would you seriously go near a sex toy called a Trashy?
Me: OK. Maybe you would.
…… later, after a bit of feverish Trashy googling ….
New Man: But what do they do? There’s no suckers or springs or anything.
Me: My dear child of the 70s, of course there are no suckers or springs.
Suckers and springs would increase production costs and thereby reduce profit margins. Suckers and springs would also increase the likelihood of Trashy-takes-eye-out compensation claims.
This is the 21st century. Toys are designed and marketed to induce an obsessive need to acquire the whole collection for the purposes of showing off to friends. You’re not supposed to actually play with them ….